Category: Writing our Stories

Do Better, Be Better: Living with Race Trauma – Wellness & Empowerment – EBONY

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Challenges and Wounds, Writing our Stories

If you’re Black in America, it’s very likely that you live with one of two plaguing feelings:

At any moment your rights can violated and you’ll be powerless to defend yourself legally or physically.

At any moment the rights of someone you love will be violated and you will be powerless to defend them legally or physically.

Now if you were Caucasian, this phenomenon would be widely accepted as a source of major psychological trauma (an emotional injury resulting form an extremely stressful or life threatening situation). There would likely be a series of specialized programs, resources or mainstreamed evidence based practices devised to help cope with the persistent exposure — just think about the seminars they have at suburban schools when a student commit suicide — and you’d be put on meds.

But for African Americans, it’s just life.

We are used to living in fear. We have grown accustomed to being preyed upon. Worst of all, we have learned to de-value our lives so much that it is now acceptable for us to kill each other. Our boys openly lament about doubting they will live past 25 years old. We brag about serving punitive consequences for antisocial behaviors. Our youth — and adults —openly deface our communities with graffiti, litter and urine. We don’t mandate marriage, a universal social security, before — or after —procreation. This is not what being Black, African or African-American is about.

This is about the lack of hope — due to trauma. This is about the repercussions of generations of people being exposed to persistent fear, anxiety and abuse. This is the result of having dreams of fair integration shattered. The effect of introducing drugs to mothers of a community. The impact of purposefully robbing men of their core source of pride: The ability to provide and lead. Most African-Americans are traumatized. Sadly, not enough have the natural resources to combat it wholly.

I’d love to say there’s an easy answer to eradicating trauma — but I won’t lie to you. The fact is each person has to decide how he/she wants to cope with it in their lives (counseling, support groups, self-education/awareness), and whether they are willing to pass on their knowledge to their circle and beyond. If we truly want to do better, be better, we have a bitter pill to swallow: Black Americans, collectively, are not winning. And yet, there is a bright side: We have the power to change it.

Do better, be better. Talk to me at dobetter@ebony.com.

via [COLUMN] Do Better, Be Better: Living with Race Trauma – Wellness & Empowerment – EBONY.

When ‘I’ in First-Person Narrative Didn’t Apply to African-Americans

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Narratives of the Enslaved, Writing our Stories
black rose 1
black rose 1 (Photo credit: Melinda Taber)

Once in a while, college teaching breaks out of the staid, authoritative lecturer/rapt audience model and assumes a raw ideal of rapid and spontaneous engagement between teacher and students. The engagement is live and open-ended and the information firing back and forth isn’t necessarily pleasant or encouraging or even obviously related to the topic of the class on that particular day. But it’s education for sure.

I recently presented a lecture at a local university that I thought straightforward and factual, though potentially controversial because it involved race. I’m teaching nonfiction writing and thought it would be useful to discuss the politics behind the first-person “I” narrator that frames so much nonfiction writing, especially memoir and personal essays.

We assume the use of “I” is a simple declaration of the self, the rock-solid point from which every story flows. “I” is also an affirmation of individualism that Americans hold so dear, and in that way a democratic institution in the literary world — I write, therefore I am equal to all other writers. But I wanted to show how the whole concept of “I” and the self-affirmation it’s meant to confer never applied to African-Americans.

For much of our history, the notion of an inviolate black self was not only absent in literature (and everywhere else), it was actually against the law. Law and custom prevented blacks from claiming authority over their own lives. The whole concept of an empowered, inherently worthy ‘I’ was therefore a joke at worst, fragmented at best. That legacy is still with us; for blacks, personal stories almost always have broader social meaning tied to a legacy of white supremacy that has told them in one way or another how they should see and interpret themselves. For nonfiction writing, getting out from under this “narrative oppression” is a rich and complicated subject.

While I hardly expected to resolve ancient racial problems, I assumed the conversation would be provocative and lively. It was that, but much more than that — it was hostile. This happened immediately. Ten minutes into the lecture white students chafed at the very notion of oppression and a vocal few wanted to shut down both the message, and the messenger. Several students took offense to this and subtly and not so subtly accused the doubters of racism.

via When ‘I’ in First-Person Narrative Didn’t Apply to African-Americans | Commentary | SoCal Focus | KCET.

Dark Days: Life in Crack City

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Challenges and Wounds, Trauma Survivors, Writing our Stories

Dark Days: Life in Crack City.Crack killed everything.”
– Nas, 2012

It was a chilly spring night in 1984 and I was returning uptown from my cashier job at Miss Brooks, a fast food coffee shop located near Rockefeller Center. Working from four to midnight, after closing a few of the staff usually went out for drinks. By two a.m., I’d downed one more pint before walking over to Columbus Circle with the short order cook Xavier.

Although we both lived on 151 Street off Broadway, Xavier was a recent transplant from the Bronx and I had dwelled in that neighborhood since I was four. Today that nether world between Harlem and Washington Heights is now “Hamilton Heights,” but in those days, we didn’t really call it anything but home.

When I moved there in 1967, the working class neighborhood was a literal melting pot of races, religions and cultures that included southern Blacks, like my grandmother, holdover Jewish families who hadn’t migrated to Long Island, more than a few Puerto Ricans and two Asian families.

Like some kind of urban coming-of-age novel, I have fond childhood memories of 151st Street and apartment 1-E, many that include the array of friends who lived in our building at 628. Boys and girls together, we played stickball in the street, had Saturday afternoon trips to the Tapia movie theater, where we watched Blaxploitation and kung-fu flicks, and crowded into each other’s apartments where we spun the latest soul records, watched cartoons and had sleepovers.

Group Therapy Model for Refugee and Torture Survivors

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African, Challenges and Wounds, Healing Techniques, Racial Abuse, Trauma Survivors, Writing our Stories

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Group therapy model for refugee

and torture survivors

Ibrahim A. Kira PhD*, Asha Ahmed PhD*, Vanessa Mahmoud, Msw* & Fatima Wassim, MA*

Abstract

The paper discusses the Center for Torture and Trauma Survivors’ therapy group model for tor­ture survivors and describes two of its variants: The Bashal group for African and Somali women and the Bhutanese multi-family therapy group. Group therapies in this model extend to com­munity healing. Groups develop their cohesion to graduate to a social community club or initi­ate a community organization. New graduates from the group join the club and become part of the social advocacy process and of group and individual support and community healing. The BASHAL Somali women’s group that developed spontaneously into a socio-political club for Af­rican women, and the Bhutanese family group that consciously developed into a Bhutanese com­munity organization are discussed as two variants of this new model of group therapy with torture survivors.

Key words: group therapy, refugees, wraparound approach for torture treatment, community healing

Introduction

There is an increased concern about the relevance and effectiveness of current mental health programs and existing interventions

*) Center for Torture and Trauma Survivors CTTS, Georgia, USA. iakira@dhr.state.ga.us

that are derived from individualistic western cultures and based mostly on addressing single personal identity trauma, for example sexual abuse, with clients from different cultures and with refugees and minority populations who are cumulatively trauma­tized with personal and collective identity traumas.1-3

In general, treatment of refugees who have survived violence and torture is com­plicated and not manuals-bound. Most evidence-based traditional group therapies have been developed to address specific single personal identity trauma, e.g., sexual abuse, or post such single trauma symptoms using different cognitive behavioural, psycho-dynamic or other theoretical and technical approaches. However, refugees and torture survivors went through, and are possibly still going through, a host of different trauma types that include personal and collective identity traumas and which have cumulative effects. Cumulative trauma dynamics are dif­ferent from the dynamics of single trauma.4 Additionally, refugees and torture survivors usually belong to different cultures which are more collective than individualistic and may belong to different religious heritages other than those form which such group therapies were developed.5 It is important to adapt current evidence-based group therapies, regardless of their theoretical and

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technical approaches, to address cumulative trauma and collective identity traumas that clients endured, or are enduring, in order to be acceptable and effective with refugees and torture survivors. Most refugee populations and torture survivors come from collective cultures and the core (or index) traumas for most of them are collective identity traumas. In the case of ethnic persecution, which is a collective identity trauma, the group char­acter is even more evident. The traumatized refugees have become victims of persecution and or torture because of their belonging to a certain group. In collectivistic culture, heal­ing usually take place within the group context. When people get persecuted because of their group characteristics, a group therapy seems logical and has more therapeutic potential. In collectivistic cultures, it is common for families and community elders or religious or political leaders to be the first source of support for personal problems or health con­cerns. Family group therapy and community work can be especially effective. Using modi­fied or newly designed group interventions can be a potentially effective component in a wraparound multi-component, multi-model process for treating victims of political vio­lence.6-8

Torture consists of different traumas that target an individual or group. Col­lective identity is an important factor in this complex trauma. The multi-systemic, multi-component, wraparound psychosocial rehabilitation approach for torture treat­ment addresses the three systems affected by torture: The individual, family members and the group.6-8 Group therapy for torture survivors is an important component of this model. Group therapies in this model extend to community healing. Groups de­velop their cohesion in order to graduate to a social community club or initiate a com­munity organization. New graduates from

the group join the club and become part of the social advocacy process and of group and community support and healing. Fol­lowing this model, the Centre for Torture and Trauma Survivors (CTTS) currently conducts family and women’s groups for Iraqis, a Burmese men’s group, a Bhutanese family group, and an African women’s group of members who survived both torture and HIV (caused by rape during torture). In the following, we describe two of these groups as two variants of the model where each ends up establishing a sustainable community or­ganization, the Bashaal women’s group and the Bhutanese multi-family group, albeit in different ways.

Bashaal: a comforting shoulder In August 2006, CTTS began a thera peutic group for Somali, Ethiopian and other Sub-Saharan women who had suffered war trauma and torture. The group was led by a Somali case manager/community liaison and a consulting therapist. They were able to combine the case manager knowledge of Somali culture and language with the therapist’s experience with trauma and dis­sociation. They began the group by focusing on the common thread of female genital circumcision.

In the following months the group fo­cused on the women’s support of each other, the importance of their faith and culture in their survival, and their need for help in interfacing with systems. In the process of addressing day-to-day concerns and health problems, the women began to talk about the trauma they had experienced.

Three group changes have marked the growing empowerment of the women. In November 2006, the group members took “ownership” of the group by naming it Bashaal, which refers, in Somalia, to a late afternoon women’s gathering in the pres‑

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ence of wise elders, a time to share their stories of troubles and triumphs. They share ginger tea and dates, while relaxing after the day’s chores. The second significant change was to move the group from the offices of CTTS to a community room in the heart of the Somali and Ethiopian community, near the main Masjid mosque. The organization and use of the center was negotiated by the physician, with the support of the Somali community. The room is furnished in a trad­itional Sub-Saharan manner and is cared for by the women. In the summer of 2008, a new therapist started a second women’s group with the Somali case manager/com­munity liaison, while the first group con­tinued as a self-sufficient group, sometimes mentoring the new group!

The group has interpreters and various interns who assist and visit and who help members reach the goals they have set for the group. The goals of the group are:

a)  To give members a safe place to gather and to talk about their concerns, includ­ing their recovery from torture;

b)  To assist in the acculturation and immi­gration process by discussing cultural and religious differences they encounter;

c)  To increase members’ feelings of personal empowerment and mastery in various aspects of their lives through trad itional women’s handicrafts and basic living skills;

d)  To diminish symptoms of PTSD, anxiety and depression through psychotherapy and support;

e)  To form a social organization that brings women out of isolation and that can eventually be maintained by members with a steady core membership.

After an initial assessment of the potential group members’ experiences with torture and trauma, using the instruments devel‑

oped for the Center for Torture and Trauma, approximately 20 members were selected by the case manager for membership in the group. Meetings are held once a week, on Fridays, prior to Jumah (Friday) prayers. Participants are transported to meetings or arrive via public transportation. Refresh­ments are often served, particularly tea and sweets. Members greet each other tradition­ally and get to know the rules of the group. Confidentiality, privacy and safety are em­phasized in the group.

The therapist facilitates a therapeutic group process, incorporating relaxation breathing and guided imagery for stress relief, pain management, and relief from intrusion phenomena. The group is organ­ized around a theme or activity each week, pre-selected by the members and the thera­pist the week before. Themes include: im­migration experiences, parenting, marriage, communicating with doctors, tribal conflict, difficulties in protecting and raising sons, finding husbands for daughters, maintaining authority with children, memories, night­mares and dreams, financial difficulties, cultural differences, divorce, losses, grief, rage and loneliness. Activities can include crocheting, knitting, quilting, drawing, sew­ing, simple automobile maintenance, driving tests, scrapbooking, jewelry making, etc. These activities are all activities they can continue outside of the group. They are nor­malizing, calming and soothing to the mem­bers. While they are working on a project they hold their discussions, just as one might on a visit to a friend. Within this context, the shame and guilt that they might otherwise feel when thinking or talking about many issues is diminished. Members look forward to these meetings every week. They report using their crafts as ways to calm and soothe themselves at home when times are difficult. They are supportive and respectful of one

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another. They cry and laugh together and celebrate each person’s small triumphs or significant losses. In this way, the group is truly a comforting shoulder for each woman.

Bhutanese Multi-family Therapy Group for Torture Survivors’ Families

The group started in November, 2008, con­sisted of between five and eight families. The group was led by a bilingual mental health counsellor, and a Bhutanese case manager/ community liaison co-facilitator who has a masters degree in Political science from Nepal. The goals of the group are:

a)  To give members a safe place to gather and to talk about their concerns and their stories, including their recovery from tor­ture;

b)  To assist in the socio-cultural adjustment;

c)  To increase members’ feelings of personal empowerment and mastery in various as­pects of their lives;

d)  To diminish symptoms of PTSD, anxiety and depression;

e)  To form a social organization for Bhu­tanese torture survivors who continue to support each other after the group and advocate against torture and oppression, which helps with the continuation of per­sonal and community healing, advocacy and social support.

However, the focus in the first stage switched to survival issues, because of the new added traumatic stress, arising from the dire economic situation in US at the time. The therapy focused, at this stage, in devel­oping assertiveness training, problem solv­ing skills, using humour, laughter and other skills, for example, journaling and making to do lists.

Clients are encouraged to share their story but they are not pushed to. Most of

the members are interested in discussing religious topics. They are also interested in discussing the politics of Nepal and Bhutan. The experience one time of a member who was very quiet in all sessions, but who spoke up for the first time about politics and gave his opinion, shows the relevance of this topic to group participants.

General Principles for torture groups:

1)  Helping clients regain control of their life. Also, providing a safe space to practice control during group time. For example, letting them have cell phones and giving them the choice to answer it (it could be from their job agency, sick relative, etc.)

2)  Giving them choices and teaching them to choose for themselves. Letting them make the rules for the group and then adding more important ones if neces­sary.

3)  Abstaining from re-traumatizing by recalling memories of torture. Encour­age, not force them to share about their torture. Most of them are afraid, guilty, embarrassed, feel responsible for what happened to them.

4)  Most importantly, establishing and gaining their trust. Making them feel very comfortable in any way possible. Talking about their history, where they came from, history behind their coun­try, learning about their culture and its practices. Letting them educate the therapist and case managers about the conditions they came from. Talk about politics and religion, their favorite mov­ies, songs they like.

5)  Using laughter and humour: Laugh­ing is the shortest route to the heart. Strat egies of telling jokes and laughing in the moment helps them forget about their pain for now. Talking about the

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new host culture, inviting them to share any funny events relating to the host culture that they experienced are help­ful interventions.

6)    Using art and other creative activities. Collage was liked by all members. Tell­ing stories by looking at some emo­tion cards, writing letters of gratitude, accultur ation activities, educating about the new culture and its practices, hav­ing them draw their interests, hobbies, strengths, accomplishments, successes, and positive focused therapeutic activi­ties were all utilized.

7)    Balancing power dynamics in the group was important. Getting down to their level and accessing them, reflection of power in dress, seating in the group, not practicing too much control, or making strict rules were important.

8)    Letting them vent and complain be­cause they have no place else to do that. Listen to them closely without any judgements, supporting them, but not letting them obsess about complaining and intervening when they are com­plaining too much.

9)    Help problem-solve. Brain storm with them to solve the current problems in their life (ranging from filling forms to accessing transportation, getting jobs, learning English, etc.).

10) Help create a cohesive bond between them, so they have access to support outside the group setting. They can help each other which will help them feel good about themselves if they can help others.

11) Teach basic coping techniques with stress, adaptation to a new culture, find out how well they cope currently and find strengths in them. Learn their ways of coping and help reinforce those if they haven’t been coping well.

12)      Psycho-education about their symp­toms and how it relates to their overall traumatic experiences, about PTSD, how it is affecting their life and how they can minimize the symptoms, cope with them, take care of themselves.

13)      Teach them the importance of self-care. Most of them are very modest, gener­ous, put others first and leave them­selves out.

14)      Getting them involved with community events. Invite them to attend events related to the celebration of torture survivors, cultural celebrations, and potlucks.

15)      Teach them assertiveness, conflict resolution, parenting skills. Help them practice/role model newly learned tech­niques in the group and get feedback.

16)      Letting them tell their story without forcing them, but a little probing may be necessary. Make sure they feel safety and trust.

17)      Find out about their religion and spir­itual strengths and practices. For most of them that is the first resource or coping strategy to turn to their religion.

18)      Involve their family and community.

The Bhutanese group provided another model for achieving the community organ­ization goal. While community organization in the Bashaal group happened spontan­eously, in the Bhutanese group it happened intentionally. The case manager, the co-fa­cilitator of the group, who is a Bhutanese community leader and previous political science professor in Nepal, initiated the call for group organization after the sixth session, and started to help them apply for non-profit status. In this model the case manager, a Bhutanese leader himself, who has a master’s degree in political science, initiated establishing the non-profit organiza‑

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tion for the Bhutanese community of torture and non-torture survivors. The organization celebrated cultural events and organized art and craft expositions and participated in the Georgia coalition of refugee stakeholders.

Summary and conclusions

Torture consists of different traumas that target an individual or group. Collective iden­tity is an important factor in this complex trauma. The multi-systemic, multi-compo­nent, wraparound psychosocial rehabilitation approach for torture treatment addresses the three systems affected by torture: The indi­vidual, family members and the group. Group therapy for torture survivors is an important component of this model. Group therapies extend to community healing. Groups de­velop their cohesion to graduate to a social community club. New graduates from the group join the club and become part of the social advocacy process and of group and community healing. The Bashal Somali women group and the Bhutanese multifamily groups are variants of this model. The wom­en’s therapy group has developed to be a social club for Somali torture survivor women that convenes and arranges social activities and work on arts and crafts. They hold their events to celebrate and sell their products and to lobby against torture in the community at large. The Bhutanese group provided another variant of the model for achieving in com­munity organization goal. While community organization in the Bashaal group happened spontaneously, in the Bhutanese group it hap­pened intentionally. The case manager, the co-facilitator of the group who is a Bhutanese community leader, initiated the call for group organization. While the CTTS group therapy model with its variants have a theoretical face and validity, future studies are needed to provide empirical evidence of its effectiveness in achieving and sustaining its goals.

Autoethnography

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Ethnic Identity, Writing our Stories

 

A segment of a social network
A segment of a social network (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Autoethnography is a form of autobiography, self-reflection and writing that explores the researcher’s personal experience and connects this autobiographical story to wider cultural, political, and social meanings and understandings.[1][2] It differs from ethnography —a qualitative research method in which a researcher uses participant observation and interviews in order to gain a deeper understanding of a group’s culture— in that autoethnography focuses on the writer’s subjective experience rather than, or in interaction with, the beliefs and practices of others. As a form of self-reflective writing, autoethnography is widely used in performance studies and English.

 

Contents

 

[show]

 

Autoethnography as a qualitative research methodEdit

 

DefinitionEdit

 

According to Maréchal (2010), “autoethnography is a form or method of research that involves self-observation and reflexive investigation in the context of ethnographic field work and writing” (p. 43). Another well-known autoethnographer, Carolyn Ellis (2004) defines it as “research, writing, story, and method that connect the autobiographical and personal to the cultural, social, and political” (p. xix). However, it is not easy to reach a consensus on the term’s definition. For instance, in the 1970s, autoethnography was more narrowly defined as “insider ethnography,” referring to studies of the (culture of) a group of which the researcher is a member (Hayano, 1979). Nowadays, however, as Ellingson and Ellis (2008) point out, “the meanings and applications of autoethnography have evolved in a manner that makes precise definition difficult” (p. 449).

 

Epistemological/Theoretical groundEdit

 

Autoethnography differs from ethnography, a social research method employed by anthropologists and sociologists, in that it embraces and foregrounds the researcher’s subjectivity rather than attempting to limit it, as in empirical research. While ethnography tends to be understood as a qualitative method in the ‘social sciences’ that describes human social phenomena based on fieldwork, autoethnographers are themselves the primary participant/subject of the research in the process of writing personal stories and narratives. Autoethnography “as a form of ethnography,” Ellis (2004) writes, is “part auto or self and part ethno or culture” (p. 31) and “something different from both of them, greater than its parts” (p. 32). In other words, as Ellingson and Ellis (2008) put it, “whether we call a work an autoethnography or an ethnography depends as much on the claims made by authors as anything else” (p. 449).

 

via Autoethnography – Psychology Wiki.

 

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And The Time To Resist Is Now.

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Liberation, Social Justice, Writing our Stories

And The Time To Resist Is Now..http://www.historyisaweapon.com/indextrue.html

From the Blog:

History is a Weapon

  If this is your first time at the site, it can look a little daunting. To help you navigate, we’ll spell out how everything is organized so you can find what you need.
       This is an online Left reader focusing largely on American resistance history. The readings are organized in sections (“Chapters”). If you are struggling with a particular question, you can go that chapter. For example, if you want to know “Why are there so many people in prison?” you can go to “Chapter 3: The Long Chain”. We’ll include a good starter essay here for each. Notice that some chapters have so many readings that it won’t fit on one page; use the UP and DOWN buttons below the list to navigate to additional readings.
       If you aren’t dealing with a particular question, feel free to work your way through all the starter essays and head back to the issues that stirred you the most. Here we go:

  1. What is this America? Three books by authors trying to redefine what America is, the horror and the potential. We’re a little biased, but Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United Statesis a fine beginning.
  2. Learning To Surrender The role of education: How does a system teach us about itself? Malcolm X describes his education and its effects on him in this excerpt from “The Autobiography of Malcolm X”
  3. The Long Chain These essays tackle the relationships between the economy, police, prison, and slavery. A good starting point is Christian Parenti’s talkbased on his book “Lockdown America”
  4. Voices From The Empire People all over the world have identified what the American system means for them and what they have to do. The next section identifies how this is a world system and how the world has responded. Walter Rodney addresses the relationship between a Black American Prisoner and the international struggle in his short essay George Jackson: Black Revolutionary.
  5. Looking Inward There comes a moment when those inside the core examine the relationship to the colonized. Here, we examine those questions, starting with Bartoleme de Las Casas in his Brief Account of the Devastation of the Indies.
  6. Raising Our Voices Frederick Douglass, an escaped slave and abolitionist, was asked to give a Fourth of July speechwhile slavery still existed. His fiery talk is what this section is about: People within America recognizing that the American promises ring hollow.
  7. Against The War Machine Americans speaking and acting out against war is the next subject. Don Mitchell got a chance to speak to the bureaucrats of the military and talked about Americans as people of the world living under the same empire.
  8. Repression James Madison outlined what was needed to keep Americans from enjoying the fruits of democracy too much. Written over two hundred years ago, his essay, Federalist 10, identifies ways to control people that were impossible then.
  9. From Resistance to Revolution If you’ve read through all of this, you’ll probably be itching about what is to be done. There are numerous examples and one excellent one is Socialist Feminism: A Strategy for the Women’s Movement. It is long, but readable and in-depth.
  10. Appendix A: Maps Everybody loves maps!
       If you haven’t been in school for awhile (or are in a terrible school), some of the words might trip you up. Dictionary.com and Wikipedia.org are two good resources to help you. And because we’re your friends, you can email us if you have any questions.

black like them

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Ethnic Identity, Internalized Racism, Writing our Stories
Black Like Them
April 29, 1996
PERSONAL HISTORY
Malcolm Gladwell

Through the lens of his own family’s experience,
the author explores why West Indians and American
blacks are perceived differently.

1.

My cousin Rosie and her husband, Noel, live in a two-bedroom bungalow on Argyle Avenue, in Uniondale, on the west end of Long Island. When they came to America, twelve years ago, they lived in a basement apartment a dozen or so blocks away, next to their church. At the time, they were both taking classes at the New York Institute of Technology, which was right nearby. But after they graduated, and Rosie got a job managing a fast-food place and Noel got a job in asbestos removal, they managed to save a little money and bought the house on Argyle Avenue.

From the outside, their home looks fairly plain. It’s in a part of Uniondale that has a lot of tract housing from just after the war, and most of the houses are alike–squat and square, with aluminum siding, maybe a dormer window in the attic, and a small patch of lawn out front. But there is a beautiful park down the street, the public schools are supposed to be good, and Rosie and Noel have built a new garage and renovated the basement. Now that Noel has started his own business, as an environmental engineer, he has his office down there–Suite 2B, it says on his stationery–and every morning he puts on his tie and goes down the stairs to make calls and work on the computer. If Noel’s business takes off, Rosie says, she would like to move to a bigger house, in Garden City, which is one town over. She says this even though Garden City is mostly white. In fact, when she told one of her girlfriends, a black American, about this idea, her friend said that she was crazy–that Garden City was no place for a black person. But that is just the point. Rosie and Noel are from Jamaica. They don’t consider themselves black at all.

This doesn’t mean that my cousins haven’t sometimes been lumped together with American blacks. Noel had a job once removing asbestos at Kennedy Airport, and his boss there called him “nigger” and cut his hours. But Noel didn’t take it personally. That boss, he says, didn’t like women or Jews, either, or people with college degrees–or even himself, for that matter. Another time, Noel found out that a white guy working next to him in the same job and with the same qualifications was making ten thousand dollars a year more than he was. He quit the next day. Noel knows that racism is out there. It’s just that he doesn’t quite understand–or accept–the categories on which it depends.

5 Stages of Black Manhood

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Social Justice, Writing our Stories
March to End NYPD's Stop-and-Frisk
March to End NYPD’s Stop-and-Frisk (Photo credit: j-No)

I spend a lot of time thinking about what it means to be a Black man in America. As circumstance would have it, I am a Black man in America, so I suppose that makes sense. However, in the wake of the killing of Trayvon Martin, I’m not alone; the rest of the country, at least temporarily, appears to be interested in the lives of Black men, particularly young Black men. Out of that tragedy has arisen the need to explain the story of Black men on a national scale.

Of course, there isn’t a single narrative, one that will definitively place all the experiences of Black men into a neat package for a curious public. However, there are commonalities, uniting factors that can help those who will never be Black men or will come into scant contact with Black men to get a general sense of what shapes the lives of Black men. There’s the hope that, perhaps, the more the world knows about us, the fewer Trayvons there will be. A prayer set out into the darkness, no doubt, but that in itself is a part of the Black male experience.

It occurs to me, reflecting more in this moment about the lives of young brothers, that it’s a familiar enough story. It’s as human as it gets, despite the best attempts to deny us our humanity. I have found that Black men experience this world in ways that are quite similar to the widely known Kubler-Ross “5 Stages of Grief” model:

1. Denial. In his life, every Black man is afforded a period of unburdened optimism. The length varies for each individual, and some may not remember it. Whether it lasts until they turn five or 50, there’s at least a moment where a Black man can look out into the world and see it as full of opportunity. There exists no limits in his mind as to who or what he can become. It’s a time free of history’s lessons and society’s prejudices.

But there also comes a moment, an internal realization generally prompted by an outside force, where Black men have to confront their reality as “the other.” If you’re lucky, it could be something seemingly innocuous, like being told “you speak so well.” On the opposite end of the spectrum, it could be potentially deadly, like being pulled over by a police officer for “looking suspicious.” It very well could be purposeful, as in an elder handing down to you a dog-eared copy of The Autobiography of Malcolm X.

Black male anger isn’t an anomaly, it’s a consequence of breathing.

Again, the timing and form of this message will vary from person to person, but eventually something pushes a previously dormant voice in the mind of every Black man to say “wake up, you’re Black” and he doesn’t want to believe it.

This isn’t so much about the denial of one’s Blackness as it is a denial about world’s reaction to that Blackness. No one wants to believe their mere existence is a problem, that the fact of their skin color will be an impediment to their goals. Everyone wants to be judged fairly based on who they are. No one wants to believe the worst in people. For a while, a Black man may choose to say to themselves that it simply isn’t true, that the world can see their humanity just fine. A few get stuck there, either by choice or delusion. Even those who make it past this stage may continue to long for the days of well-meaning ignorance and optimism.

2. Anger. Who can blame Black men for being angry? You’re born into a legacy that includes slavery, lynching, Jim Crow, marches, protests, and riots. From the moment you’re old enough to know what it is, you’re told that it’s likely you’ll end up in prison, and you start to believe it as you watch fathers/uncles/brothers/cousins be hauled off. Everywhere you go, you’re viewed as a problem that needs to be solved.

How can you not be angry when it seems like every other week you’re learning the name of another brother you’ll never meet, for all the wrong reasons? Trayvon Martin. Sean Bell. Amadou Diallo. Abner Louima. Ramarley Graham. Oscar Grant. James Byrd. Troy Davis. James Anderson. Their names make it into the news and a familiar sense of pain and rage settles in, because the story never changes.

via 5 Stages of Black Manhood – News & Views – EBONY.

DEPRESSION: One Black Man’s Story – Wellness & Empowerment – EBONY

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Challenges and Wounds, Individual Therapy, Writing our Stories

DEPRESSION: One Black Man’s Story – Wellness & Empowerment – EBONY. When my grades started dropping senior year of high school, I didn’t think much of it. School had never held much interest to me and I had always done just enough to “get by” anyway, so not being able to focus in Physics or AP Government wasn’t a big deal to me. And I never had many true friends, just a bunch of associates who came in out and of my life, so the fact that I closed myself off from them didn’t register as a warning sign. The sleeping in late, the not eating, the constant worrying about things that hadn’t happened…I thought I was just being my normal, neurotic self.

But staring in the mirror, wondering how much blood there would be if I bashed my head against it, wasn’t normal. Sitting at the dinner table thinking about taking the knife I’m using to cut my steak to slit my wrists, wasn’t normal. Something was missing.

I had thought about suicide before, but never in any real way. It was always a “what if?” Now, it had become a “maybe I should…” I learned firsthand what the true meaning of the word “depression” was.

Something was missing, but I had no idea what.

I “got over” it though. I moved past it. I never spoke a word of it to anyone. I was “better.”

Two years later, I wasn’t just “better”, I thought I was completely “cured.” I spent the summer in Atlanta working a well-paying internship, going to concerts every week, meeting some of my heroes, just enjoying life.

Then I bought the Gnarls Barkley album, St. Elsewhere. I was taken aback. I realized I wasn’t too far removed from the space Cee-Lo was singing from. The isolation, the helplessness, the feeling of being trapped inside your own mind and it being locked from the outside and there is no one around to pick the key up from under the welcome mat to let you out…these feelings were all too familiar. I never spoke a word of it to anyone. No matter. Cee-Lo was doing that for me.

There’s a song toward the middle of the album called “Just a Thought” that is a hauntingly accurate description of what goes through a person’s mind while suffering from severe depression. Each verse ends with the phrase “…and I tried, everything but suicide, but it crossed my mind.” I could only nod silently in agreement as he belted out the most secret of my thoughts for the whole world to hear.

No Shame Day: My Thoughts on Stigma, My Story

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Writing our Stories

An honest and brave account of personal struggles with mental illness……

addyeB's avatarButterfly Confessions

When I jumped on the Twitter this morning, I saw a tweet with a link to a blog  on Huffington Post titled, “No Shame Day: Working to Eradicate Mental Illness Stigma in the Black Community.”

After reading it, I clicked on the #NoShame hashtag and saw tweet after tweet from African-Americans detailing their struggles with mental illness and sharing how the stigma within the Black community regarding mental illness has had an impact on them.

I went to The Siwe Project website and cried reading story after story of other Black men & women who have had to suffer in silence because of how crippling and degrading the stigma is. Suffering from and living with a mental illness is difficult enough-having to battle and fight against stigma in addition to it makes it excruciating. It chokes out hope, leaving a person feeling alone, isolated, and unable to use their voice…

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At the Dark End of the Street

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in Books, Challenges and Wounds, Petty Tyrants, Racial Abuse, Writing our Stories
A young survivor of sexual violence at a women...
A young survivor of sexual violence at a women’s and girl’s centre. (Photo credit: Amnesty International)

Revealing Sex Crimes Against Black Women

 

By Jan Gardner

 Before Rosa Parks refused to move to the back of the bus, she had already been fighting for racial equality for more than a decade. She strategized with other activists, organized protests, and in 1948 gave an impassioned speech that led to her election as secretary of the Alabama conference of the NAACP. In that position, she investigated cases of sexual violence and other crimes against blacks, as she had done for the Montgomery chapter of the NAACP.

Her role in defending the rights of black women is eloquently chronicled in the 2010 book, “At the Dark End of the Street: Black Women, Rape, and Resistance—a New History of the Civil Rights Movement from Rosa Parks to the Rise of Black Power” by Danielle L. McGuire, a history professor at Wayne State University in Detroit, Michigan.

In her meticulously researched book, McGuire maintains that in order to fully understand the civil rights movement one must understand the history of sex crimes against black women and how these attacks were used as a weapon against the fight for racial equality. Being able to sit at a lunch counter or vote didn’t mean anything if black women couldn’t walk down the street or ride the bus unmolested.

As McGuire writes, “Between 1940 and 1975, sexual violence and interracial rape became one crucial battleground upon which African Americans sought to destroy white supremacy and gain personal and political autonomy. … If we understand the role rape and sexual violence played in African Americans’ daily lives and within the larger freedom struggle, we have to reinterpret, if not rewrite, the history of the civil rights movement.”

Black Fathers Provide Their Families, Communities Much More than Money | Black Star Journal

by vanessa mahmoud, posted in African American Psychology, Challenges and Wounds, Writing our Stories

Black Fathers Provide Their Families, Communities Much More than Money

June 18, 2012

By Editor

Fb-Button

June 13, 2012

At Atlanta Black Star, we are spending this entire week celebrating, honoring, exploring and uplifting Black Fatherhood by examining it through the lens of 7 themes: Lead, Build, Provide, Care, Protect, Work and Love. This is the third story in the series, looking at all the ways—often beyond money—that black fathers uplift their families by being providers.

Cover Photo

Black men are more than providers of food, clothing and shelter for their families. They have, for decades, been role models for their immediate families and the black community in general. What they often provide is a vision of strength, perseverance and pride.

On the fireplace mantle in the home of Mary Miller sits the picture of Andrew Jackson. Not the seventh President of the United States, but grandfather to the Miller children, Mary, Ron, Shirley and Beverly. Grandpa Jackson’s picture is the largest picture on the mantle, and appropriately so. A small man of stature, he was larger than life. He was a teacher, preacher, single parent, and inventor of two patented items: eyeglasses for cockfights, and a device to keep tractors in a straight line for plowing fields. Born in the 19th Century, some years after the emancipation, Grandpa Jackson was a stern disciplinarian who gave and demanded respect. He lived proudly and fearlessly in the Jim Crow south—emphasis on living fearlessly and Jim Crow south. Grandpa Jackson was the grandfather of my husband, Ron Miller.

The stories that stood out about Grandpa Jackson were not his inventions, per se, but how he lived and how he was an example for the community. It was not uncommon for Grandpa Jackson to direct white delivery and service people to the back door to mirror blacks who were forced to do the same in his lifetime. Grandpa Jackson was a “helluva” man.

Like Grandpa Jackson, there are thousands of stories of good black men that recycle through the black community. Only a few make it to mainstream, but not nearly enough to break the misperceptions and stereotypes.

Ever heard of Phil Jackson? No, not the Lakers coach, but the head of The Black Star Project. He founded the Chicago-based organization in 1996, and has since been relentless about eliminating the academic achievement gap between white students and black and Latino students locally and nationally.

What about Tim King, founder and CEO of Urban Prep Academies, a non-profit organization operating a network of public college-prep boys’ schools in Chicago—most of them predominantly African American—including the nation’s first all male charter high school

via Black Fathers Provide Their Families, Communities Much More than Money | Black Star Journal.